Вот здесь
http://phd-paul-lector.livejournal.com/105850.html нашел. Супер!
Как говорят, хорошо передано индийское произношение.
Из "Far Eastern Economic Review" 1981 года:
In an Indian hotel:
ROOM SERVICE: Morny, rune sore-bees.
HOTEL GUEST: Oh sorry. I thought I dialled room service.
RS: Rye, rune sore-bees. Morny. Jewish to odor sunteen?
HG: I'd like some bacon and eggs.
RS: Ow July then?
HG: What?
RS: Aches. Ow July then? Pry, boy, pooch?
HG: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Scrambled please.
RS: Ow July thee baycome? Crease?
HG: Crisp will be fine.
RS: Hockey. An Santos?
HG: What?
RS: Santos. July Santos?
HG: Ugh... I don't know... I don't think so...
RS: No? Judo on toes?
HG: Look, I really feel bad about this, but I just don't know what judo-on-toes means. I'm sorry.
RS: Toes! Toes! Why Jew Don Juan toes? Ow bow eenglish moppin we bother?
HG: Ah! English muffin! I've got it! Toast! You were saying toast! Fine. An English muffin will be fine.
RS: We bother?
HG: No. Just put the bother on the side.
RS: Ward?
HG: I'm sorry. I mean the butter. Butter on the side, please.
RS: Copy?
HG: I feel terrible about this but...
RS: Copy. Copy, tear, millk.
HG: COFFEE! Yes, coffee please. And that's all.
RS: One Minny. Ass rune torino-fie, strangle aches, crease baycome, tossy, eenglish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy. Rye?
HG: Whatever you say.
RS: Hockey. Tenjewberrymud.
HG: You are welcome.
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Не помню, может, это уже было на форуме
Hu is the leader of China?
George B. : Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condoleeza R.: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George B. : Great. Lay it on me.
Condoleeza R.: Hu is the new leader of China.
George B. : That's what I want to know.
Condoleeza R.: That's what I'm telling you.
George B. : That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condoleeza R.: Yes.
George B. : I mean the fellow's name.
Condoleeza R.: Hu.
George B. : The guy in China.
Condoleeza R.: Hu.
George B. : The new leader of China.
Condoleeza R.: Hu.
George B. : The Chinaman!
Condoleeza R.: Hu is leading China.
George B. : Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condoleeza R.: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George B. : Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condoleeza R.: That's the man's name.
George B. : That's who's name?
Condoleeza R.: Yes.
George B. : Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George B. : Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condoleeza R.: That's correct.
George B. : Then who is in China?
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George B. : Yassir is in China?
Condoleeza R.: No, sir.
George B. : Then who is?
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George B. : Yassir?
Condoleeza R.: No, sir.
George B. : Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condoleeza R.: Kofi?
George B. : No, thanks.
Condoleeza R.: You want Kofi?
George B. : No.
Condoleeza R.: You don't want Kofi.
George B. : No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George B. : Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condoleeza R.: Kofi?
George B. : Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condoleeza R.: And call who?
George B. : Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condoleeza R.: Hu is the guy in China.
George B. : Will you stay out of China?!
Condoleeza R.: Yes, sir.
George B. : And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condoleeza R.: Kofi.
George B. : All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condoleeza R.: Rice, here.
George B. : Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East.
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И вот еще смешное:
Changes to the English Language
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly,this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favor of the 'k'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter!
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' wiz 'v'. During ze fifz year ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'ou' and similar changes vud of kurs be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
After ze fifz yer ve vil hav a rali sensibl ritn styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evriun vil find it ezi tu undrstand ech ozer.
Zen Z Drem Vil Finali Kum Tru!